A Call to Trust in Childhood Play


​Photograph Courtesy of family+footprints.

Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood. - Fred Rogers

In a world with generally less time for free play, fewer opportunities for risky play and limited exposure of children to nature, a growing swell of folks are looking to change that reality. Their incentive? The many benefits that directly impact children. Physical well-being, emotional well-being, social well-being. When children play like children - in ways their play would naturally evolve over any given experience, without too much parental involvement - they benefit.

But there is a challenge for us parents and guardians and providers in offering these kinds of opportunities to our kids. Trusting childhood play.

Most of us have the best of intentions when we structure the play of the child in our lives. We want to keep them safe. We want to give them learning opportunities. We want to mediate and help resolve their problems. These very righteous causes are often at the root of how we allow our children to play or where we step in to change the course of play. Only thing, there are a number of researchers saying the pendulum may have swung too far away from trusting childhood play. There may be too much over scheduling, structure, time indoors, rules of play that are there to control instead of encourage or protect but miss the value of a healthy risk, parental mediation rather than child-resolved conflict, things instead of experiences.

Trusting our children to play means letting go of some of our control - a lot of our control - but it also means gaining much in return. For when our children take control of their play, they're taking control of a huge part of their world. Empowerment at its finest. They grow tremendously in these opportunities for natural play.

So how do we begin to trust the process? How do we know if we are already trusting it? That is highly personal. It can differ for each family and for each child, based on need, and based on age. But let's explore some of the many reminders we can ask ourselves as we watch play unfold around us.

Ways We Can Trust Childhood Play

- I trust that learning is constant. There is no on and off to learning. Play is learning, even if there is no set activity or structure. I look for ways in which my child is learning, even when they are not actively being taught.

- I trust down time is chock full of goodness. That creativity and innovation can be born out of quiet moments, where children bring all the have learned and explore all they have not. Play can include these simple moments, with the potential for much to come out of it.

- I trust that sometimes play is just fun. And having fun is as good for the soul as it is for our bodies.

- I trust in the power of yes. I look for ways to create an environment that is filled with the freedom to play naturally, with limited reasons to say, "no". I challenge myself to stop and ask why I feel the need to say no, before I say it.

- I trust in my child's trust of their own physical abilities. I recognize physical challenges build off each other. I provide my child with safety precautions and important reminders, as needed, but empower them to achieve their goals with limited involvement.

- I trust in my child's trust of their own social abilities. I recognize conflict occurs in many social settings. I provide my child with thoughtful ways to handle situations, and discuss situations afterward, but empower them to resolve their conflicts, only intervening if absolutely necessary.

- I trust in my child's ability to engage in risks - not needless risks, but healthy risks. That personal growth comes out of the challenges we create for ourselves. I empower them to test age-appropriate risks in ways that even push me out of my comfort zone at times.

- I trust in the power of the outdoors as a classroom. Natural materials provide opportunities for creativity, the earth itself provides knowledge, life skills and resourcefulness. I look for the value in playing outdoors and playing without human-made toys.

- I trust childhood play is full of many different happenings. Learning, fun, challenges, alone time, community, loud laughing, quiet moments, personal growth, physical pain and disappointment. As hard as it is to watch my child feel anything but happiness I understand there is great value in all these emotions, especially when I'm there to comfort and help them talk through ways to grow from the experiences.

- I trust me. I am a great parent. I know my child and our reality. I do the best I can and often look for ways to learn more. I surround myself with empowering families. I love my child and respect the power of play.

Mom, dad, caretaker - you already do so much to give your children the world. Let this be the permission you need, if you need it, to see the power in the simple. That there is room for that, and a very important place for that, at the table. Play has tremendous benefits. Together, let's trust that to unfold around us. Together, let's let our children take the lead on this one.

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