Do you remember the buzz about the 1979 first grade readiness checklist a few years back? The one asking if your child could walk alone four plus blocks from home...at six years old? What a sign showing how much times had changed. Now 35 years later, the idea of six year olds walking far out of sight of an adult has shifted drastically. It went from being an expectation to being more than a risk; it's become a very real threat of being called out on parental negligence. Yikes.
What seemed so natural decades earlier is now a heavy topic. But wrestling with it, whenever you're ready, feels worth it. In my fascination (and yes, a little bit of a love affair) with risky play, I have to admit it was shocking to see walking out of sight listed as one of these activities. I had always thought of risky play as exploring with tools and fire or engaging in other adrenaline rushing activities. But walking? Really? Well, of course this too is risky play. It hits on all the checklists.
Think of all the potential dangers young children face in walking far from home - your wildest imagination already quite familiar with all that could happen. But also like other risky play, there is a reason it is touted as important. Solo wandering is as empowering as it is valuable. Children get tremendous benefits from the experience, including the ability to explore their own imaginary world and the practice of navigating resourcefully through the real world.
I want this for my child and yet am still concerned. With all the fear drilled in to me I keep careful watch of my daughter far more than a 1979 version of myself probably would. Granted my daughter is only five, but it's hard to picture my child walking four blocks alone in a year's time.
That is where the wrestling comes in. Perhaps it's not an all or nothing proposition. Clearly some scenarios for this are riskier than others. So instead, I'm not wrestling with should I or shouldn't I, but instead where and how to make it okay. Where can we find places for our children to walk alone that negate some of those risks? How can we prepare children for this kind of risky activity? How can we do it in small doses that grow over time as children grow themselves?
The answers to those questions are largely personal. There are countless variables in each of our lives which help us know what's best for introducing different challenges to our children. But let's brainstorm some of the ways we might be able to reduce the risk and increase the benefits of independent walking.
How Can I Slowly Introduce This For My Young Child?
When I thought about all the places I'd feel comfortable with my daughter walking alone, I realized the list was longer than first expected. If I'm looking to avoid cars and main roads or big crowds to start, there were lots of natural settings with plenty of room for her to explore on her own. Parks. Hiking paths. Arboretums. Gardens. Places where I wouldn't see but could easily hear my daughter if she needed help. A good jumping off point.
Likewise, if wooded areas were the locations to cause anxiety, I could imagine parents choosing paths nearby their homes, like cul-da-sacs, a sidewalk loop, even a track around a park.
Not that any of these locations would necessarily be as authentic as navigating fully in the real world, but perhaps that's not the full point. Perhaps it's just about giving children the thrill and the wonder and the confidence boost that goes along with walking wherever they get the chance to be alone, and then expanding those parameters over time.
There are so many ways to introduce independent walking. It can be as simple as just doing it or can be more formal by talking about safety precautions and planning destinations together. Acknowledging the risks of walking alone can help put you at ease and arm your children with an informational toolbox from which to pull. My daughter and I have already talked about stranger danger for this very reason, as well as engaging in risk assessments in the woods. These are not fool proof, they are just seeds which have been planted to grow along with her experiences.
The experiences will certainly grow and expand, as will our children. They will eventually walk farther away, more often than not. Today's risk will become tomorrow's afterthought. One that we can more easily view as empowering - helping our children find confidence and comfort in exploring the world.
Looking for opportunities to do this at a younger age again doesn't reject the idea that it is a risk. It accepts that and works around it to make the benefits possible. And that is what I love so much about risky play. When we search for the activity's value, we have the best chance of getting the most out of it. It doesn't stay a risk. It becomes something from which we can all grow. Now, who would have thought we'd spend so much time thinking about walking? I'm off to give it more of a try.
